An Unloved Woman Read online

  An Unloved Woman

  M. A. Cameron

  Austin Macauley Publishers

  An Unloved Woman

  About The Author

  Dedication

  Copyright Information ©

  Chapter 1Introduction

  Chapter 2What Do I Want

  Chapter 3Why Do I Want It

  Chapter 4The Hero

  Chapter 5When Things Go Wrong

  Chapter 6The Enemy Within

  Chapter 7Adam and Eve – The First

  Love Story

  Chapter 8Devotion

  Chapter 9The New Folklore

  Chapter 10The Perfect Hero

  Chapter 11Aspirations

  Chapter 12Contrasts

  Chapter 13I Am the Lord

  Chapter 14The Last Prophet

  Chapter 15Starting Out

  Chapter 16Iwan

  Chapter 17Awakening

  Chapter 18The Earth Trembles

  Chapter 19The Beast of the Apocalypse

  Chapter 20Adultery and the Apocalypse

  Chapter 21Leah: The Unloved Woman

  Chapter 22The Curtain

  Chapter 23Camelot Revisited

  Chapter 24How to Be Happy

  Chapter 25Yearning

  About The Author

  M. A. Cameron grew up in Sydney, Australia. Employed as a public servant for fourteen years, illness led her to reassess her life. Conversion to Christianity followed. She resigned from full-time work and moved to Jakarta, Indonesia, with her family. Upon return to Australia, Mary involved herself with church activities. Mary has a diploma in Community Welfare and is interested in Counselling, Grief and Loss and Mental Health. This book is her second work. The first being ‘Shielded by Faith: Rape and Persecution’. She now lives in Launceston, Tasmania.

  Dedication

  For Leah and Katherine.

  Copyright Information ©

  M. A. Cameron (2019)

  The right of M. A. Cameron to be identified as author of this work has been asserted by her in accordance with section 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publishers.

  Any person who commits any unauthorised act in relation to this publication may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages.

  A CIP catalogue record for this title is available from the British Library.

  ISBN 9781788487498 (Paperback)

  ISBN 9781788487504 (Hardback)

  ISBN 9781528956437 (ePub e-book)

  www.austinmacauley.com

  First Published (2019)

  Austin Macauley Publishers Ltd

  25 Canada Square

  Canary Wharf

  London

  E14 5LQ

  Chapter 1

  Introduction

  This book is about the wrath of God. It is also about the complete annihilation of all that exists. As we read through Scripture, we are constantly aware that God’s dealings with people are focused on their obedience. In book after book, God calls people and nations to account.

  In this short book, we would face a real struggle if we were to tackle all that Scripture has to say on the subject. To simplify the process, I have had to limit my presentation to just one 3000-year-old prophecy. We shall see how the subjects of this prophecy come to life. Their relations with God and each other reverberate over the centuries. We are enabled to view past, present and future in one extraordinary sweep.

  For both Christians and non-Christians, this emphasis on God’s wrath may cause some consternation and a reflex action. So often, we have been exposed to the idea of God being loving and kind that we forget this other equally important aspect of his character.

  The experience that most of us have of wrath or anger is an uncontrolled, blustering rant, of which, with hindsight, causes us an acute sense of embarrassment. It follows that God could not possibly be capable of demonstrating such a futile and shameful demonstration.

  Attributing impotent wrath to God must be refuted. If we took the time and studied the Scriptures, we would be surprised to discover that there are more references to God’s wrath and his determination to bring judgement upon the rebellious than there are references to his love and compassion.

  Many a theological textbook has been devoted to the topic of God’s wrath. This book is not one of them. It is an attempt to bring the modern day experiences of the average woman into the light of the Scriptures. A way of bringing a sense of profound significance to what most of us wrestle with at some stage in our lives: love of a man. Maybe even a way forward with hope when we have been disappointed by a love which has failed. In so doing, the workings of God, and in particular his wrath, are brought to bear on our very own personal stories. We will find that our lives, rather than being insignificant, take on a monumental importance. We are involved in the very formation and destruction of stars and galaxies. The very earth under our feet trembles.

  How do we reconcile these two topics? How does the wrath of God relate in any way to love and relationships? My answer to these questions will involve a survey of the development of love relationships over time. I will relate to you my own romantic entanglements and those of medieval times. After this, I will do a comparative study with the Scriptures to determine God’s plan for men and women. As previously suggested, I am most concerned with whether these Scriptural references will be of any relevance to the modern day woman. Are they merely a ‘how to’ of day-to-day relational living, or is there some significance to these references in an eternal non-temporal sense?

  A survey of this type is problematic. Modern Western women have been exposed to a certain type of education. A lot of professions, especially the sciences, ground their activities upon ‘evidence based practice’. This is a wise principle. The mind becomes disciplined. Reason becomes paramount.

  The problem that faces us with a survey of this sort is that Scripture often eludes these bounds. Conclusions reached as we read are often the result of ‘revelation’. Revelation is a spiritual activity. As we read the Scriptures, especially those which seem bizarre or impossible, there is an invisible presence, the Holy Spirit. The third person of a triune God, his role is to encourage and affirm belief in Scripture. For example, he brings about a conviction that what we read of is true. How is it that we can believe what seems to be impossible? A virgin birth, a healing of the blind, the resurrection of the dead and more. All of these truths are spiritually discerned and assented to because of the presence of this invisible spirit working upon our hearts and minds.

  Revelation does not exclude the need for an objective test. Over time, we have gained enormously from the works of archaeology and anthropology. The cultures that are written of in Scripture come to life when we see where they lived, their tools and means of transport. The New Testament is one such set of writings which rely upon eyewitness accounts. The very words of Jesus Christ recorded verbatim. Along with his words and actions are his way of affirming certain critical Old Testament prophecies to be, referring to himself. His death was witnessed by many as was the fact of his resurrected physical body. Thus our desire for objectivity is satisfied.

  There are further problems. An understanding of the nature of prophecy and apocalyptic language are distractions which can consume and confuse the reader as she attempts to tackle Scripture. Dragons, serpents, beasts and angels appear and are vanquished by a lamb.

  The nature of the lives which we read of is of a distant era. We read of chariots, altars, Asherah poles, holy mountains, deserts, tents. Kings rule, the
ir rule absolute, validated by strange gods. Prophets and horsemen of the apocalypse. There is no democracy. God is seen to be active in every event.

  Reading Scripture can be a battle. I will hopefully be able to take my readers on a journey slowly and carefully by calling on the Holy Spirit to guide each and every one of you into a new understanding of reality.

  Chapter 2

  What Do I Want

  Our survey will begin with, what I believe to be, the main preoccupation of the majority of women be they from the past, the present or the future; love.

  Each of us has our own ‘love story’. Yet of the billions of individuals, past, present and future, none has a story like mine. It is a story of anguish, yearning, disappointment and ultimately, fulfilment. The object of all this passion is love. To be adored and to love in return. To be caught up into something so momentous that it seemingly shifts the planet on its axis. Because it is mine, this story, whilst it develops themes most women are familiar with will, I hope to engage you with all the freshness of complete originality.

  What does this story offer? Romantic fantasies of love conquering all obstacles? Yes and no. Obstacles will be shown to be overcome, yet in the most pragmatic of fashions. Those fantasies which are fraudulent will be exposed then disregarded.

  When I write of fantasies, what do you the reader think of? A devoted, thoughtful man who will make breakfast for you after your first night together? A man who will surprise you with flowers for no other reason than to express his love? Gifts of jewellery and lingerie?

  I will confess that all these expressions of devotion answer a deep longing within me. I have entitled this book ‘An Unloved Woman’ because that is how I view myself. You would think that having reached sixty years of age, I would have developed a certain cynicism about romance. That I should accept my lot in life and devote myself to good works, get a job or spend more time with my grandchildren. Yet, it is now – in my twilight years – having spent all of my life ‘unloved’, that I have found fulfilment. Now I feel the need to tell my story. A story of devotion which continues to move me. Initially, I did perceive a shift in the Earth’s axis. Now there is a stability which counters its trembling. The earthquake is over. I am loved.

  Chapter 3

  Why Do I Want It

  In the previous chapter I set out, what I believe to be, an all-pervasive drive in most women. My own experiences have testified to the fact that my greatest desire is to love and be loved in return.

  Why do I want what I want? The answer to the question posed is a challenge. Is this answer, and even the question, solely mine or is it universal? How is it even discerned? Are sociological factors the sole determinants? Are sex, our culture or religion the foundation of our thoughts and desires?

  I am a white, middle-class, reasonably well educated female. I live in Australia. Born in 1956, I was thrown into a cauldron of social upheaval. Values were challenged. All the boundaries that placed limits on excess were tested.

  With the introduction of reliable contraceptives and easy access to abortions, sex outside marriage increased and became the norm. At the same time, the practice of Christianity in the West lost favour with the general population. As a result, in one generation, the sanctity of marriage was nullified.

  How do men and women now relate to each other in this new environment? This land of unbridled excess, where women pursue men and men wait to be asked out? Where pornography, voraciously sought, seemingly provides the only reliable guide to intimate relations? Where women and men, both young and old, send obscene photos of themselves to each other?

  Into this land of self-indulgence and ultimately soul-destroying depravity, I was thrust. My friends at school shared breath taking sexual exploits. Magazines opened our minds to impossibilities, and taught us how to attain all the pleasures we craved. All this in a moral vacuum. There were no warnings, nothing to hold us back. Our mothers seemed confused and out of touch. They had nothing to offer to rebut the highly intellectual feminists and their social theories.

  Most recent literature, plays and movies reflect this revolutionary culture. For women, who for some reason still crave romance, the stories usually involve a catastrophic failure to resist temptation. Love must triumph, it seems. Thus, adultery is justified. The viewing public are fed a steady daytime diet of adultery and incest rationalised by the protagonists’ insistence that they are in love.

  Immorality related in literature is not necessarily absent outside this era. The televised series Pride and Prejudice seems to have struck a chord with many modern women. The celebrated couple Elizabeth Bennett and Mr Darcy form a moral ideal. Their behaviour toward each other is juxtaposed with the recklessly sensual younger sister, Lydia, and the profligate, Wickham. In this way, the reader has these values of honour and integrity reinforced. Immorality is exposed as leading to the cementing of unfavourable alliances.

  What do I mean by unfavourable alliances? I’m writing what we now term ‘relationships’, be they formal (marriage) or informal (partners). These modern alliances seem to reflect a failure to consider the many factors that should be taken into account in making such a commitment. It is possible that individuals spend more time considering a major purchase, such as a car, lounge suite or washing machine than they do with a potential mate.

  At the root of the problem seems to be a reckless early involvement in sexual activity. Studies have found that hormones released during sex create bonding between couples. What may have initially been intended to be a casual, exploratory encounter, inadvertently results in a bond which is difficult to escape. The result may be that an individual becomes committed to someone who is inferior in some way. The situation worsens when children come into the picture. Children reared by inferior fathers leave the way open for further inferior individuals.

  So, an ‘unfavourable alliance’ can be seen to be a relationship with someone who is inferior. They may be unable to control their finances, drink to excess, use obscene language, use illicit drugs, behave promiscuously, use pornography, fail to pay debts, are violent, express anger too readily, blame others for their failings. The list may go on.

  How will a woman know if a man is inferior if she has sex with him on their first date, or even after just meeting them in a bar? Given the danger of bonding during sex, this seems to me nonsensical. Too often, the decision to have sex is based on something other than reason. Pheromones and alcohol play a part, yet there is also intent. Some women go to a bar or party with the express intention of drinking enough to lower ones inhibitions, overcome reason and make an encounter a surety.

  The fear of pregnancy has had a positive outcome in the past. It made women more cautious. Today’s woman is reckless by comparison. Many would applaud this development. Women are free to behave as men did in the past. Multiple sexual encounters are now no longer the domain of the privileged male sex.

  Cautious women, a positive? Surely, we have buried that old chestnut? But caution, as we have seen, is evidence of discernment. In the past, women have put men through the hoops. They have tested them. Their fathers insist on knowing intentions and prospects. They are set tasks that will reveal their natures, their character. Are they reliable mates? Can they be trusted to remain faithful, especially when a woman is at her most vulnerable, that is, during pregnancy and child rearing? By these strict criteria, a woman may select a mate who is superior. The inferior are discarded and each new generation is all the better for it. Civilisations rise and fall on such as this.

  So, this is what it’s all about. What I want is a man who is superior in every way. His character will be evaluated in the way he relates to me. His words, whispered sincerely, endearingly, wooingly must convince me that he will be the one to whom I can entrust myself. This is what romance is all about. The flowers, the jewellery, the chocolates and the lingerie. He must make a public declaration of his intentions toward me. He must act on that declaration. Not just once. Every day he must woo me anew. Any relationship which
fails to exist according to these principles, is a sham. Any man who shirks this role is inferior.

  There are some words or events which stay with me. Ideas that have had such a profound impact, that they have come to form my view of reality. One such quote is taken from the movie The Dead Poets Society. In one of his sessions with the class, the teacher, played by Robin Williams, says, “Language was invented to woo women.” Why has this stayed with me? I could say that I found the comment insightful or that I agreed with it. What touched me, still touches me and even grieves me, is that I have never been wooed. No man has ever spoken words that touched my heart. I have been groped and grabbed, forcibly kissed and subjected to obscene suggestions, sexually harassed and raped, but I have never been wooed.

  In summary, I would say that I believe biology dictates behaviour. With the introduction of reliable contraception, our reproductive biology has altered and in consequence, behaviour has changed. Moral constraints have dissolved with the decline of Christianity. Despite this, there are vestiges of the ‘female’ in many women. We still yearn for a hero. Somehow, the paradox of the female desire to be romanced and the current climate of sexual liberation with its emphasis on recreation as opposed to reproduction, must be resolved.